THE GIRL SHE WAS

She doesn't feel like herself. Not anymore. She was different once.

Now she is like a watered down version, pale and thin. She slips through the cracks, unnoticed. She fades into the background, afraid of saying the wrong thing. She grows sharp edges and won't let anyone get close to her.

She doesn't know how she came to be like this, how she ended up here. She only remembers the way she used to be - wild and reckless. Bold and unapologetic.

- Lang Leav

JAKARTA INTERNATIONAL JAVA JAZZ FESTIVAL 2017

March's main highlight : went to Java Jazz Festival (JJF) 2017! This is one of my stuff bucket lists are made of and I could finally tick if off! I bought the ticket last year (in November 2016), at the first week when they sold the ticket on their website, when the lineups weren't even out and I got the 3 days-pass ticket for only 750k (the ticket's price after the lineups announcement is 1500k). Lucky me. 

This is the 4th time I went to Java Jazz Festival, after skipping it in 2016 *sigh*. The venue was as the same as the previous, at JIExpo Kemayoran, with a crowd capacity of more than a thousand people. For this year, they have 14 stages (consists of indoor and outdoor space) and the concept progresses from the previous years are quite impressive. A lot of the facilities and the crowd control have gotten better.

Here are the shows I watched (in no particular order) :

1. Mezzoforte. 

The songs they brought fitted well for the night and they did a wonderful job with their songs selection. You never knew what was coming next because these seasoned jazzheads had no hard and fast rule about what to play. It was indeed a great feeling of finally getting to see them LIVE after all this time I watched it only on Youtube lmao. 

2. Jazz Orchestra of the Concertgebouw feat. Dira Sugandi 

Dira Sugandi has wholly shown her mellifluous voice and successfully enthralled the crowd by reaching high notes in one of the song she brought. It combined beautifully with the orchestra's instruments. 

3. Andien Aisyah

I've been listening to Andien's soothing voice since I was in primary school, just because my sister kept playing her songs in her room. I didn't see a trace of tiredness on her at all, considering she just gave her all on that night. She brought her famous hits such as Gemintang, Milikmu Selalu, Sahabat Setia, and many more. In the middle of her performance, suddenly someone came out to the stage, he was TULUS! The best thing is that Tulus sang along with Andien, performing my all time-favorite song, "Gemintang" beautifully with his whole heart throughout the show. 

4. Gugun Blues Shelter 

GBS definitely pour out their music in the blues energy that will easily grab your taste in no time! The fun fact was, the audiences were mostly boys and meanwhile there are two little girls with hijab in the middle of the crowd, and that was me and Yaya.... Ya mau gimana lagi, I've been deeply in love with them since the first time I listened to their songs in high school, maka dari itulah gue nggak mau melewatkan kesempatan buat nonton mereka sampe puas secara live LMAOOO. This band knows how to combine many styles inside their heavy roaring blues style. Rock, blues, soul, all are incorporated into their music. They literally set the stage on 'fire' while singing Set My Soul on Fire, especially when Gugun did the solo part! 

5. Danilla Riyadi

I knew her from Java Jazz 2015 and Indielokal's Youtube Channel. Her first song that I listened to is "Ada Disana". The first time I heard her song, I swear to myself I'm gonna find her album. When you saw her on stage, you can see how she enjoys the song she sings, her glow, her honesty, and enjoy the stories behind her lyrics.

6. Incognito 

This British-acid jazz, soul, and funk band was like a magnet on that night, dragging almost all the audiences to watch their stage! The hall was so full with the crowd, and I've had the pleasure of seeing them live, especially in the front row. Best of the best. 

***

Actually there were more performances I've watched, but I didn't manage to take a single pic because I was too far away from the stage. That was incredibly fun to attend this must-come annual event, even when my feet were already aching from the continuous standing and walking. That's all. See you again in JJF 2018!

UNTITLED #1

Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back. That's part of what it means to be alive. But inside our heads - at least that's where I imagine it - there's a little room where we store those memories. A room like the stacks in this library. And to understand the workings of our own heart we have to keep on making new reference cards. We have to duct things off every once in a while, let in fresh air, change the water in the flower vases. In other words, you'll live forever in your own private library.

***

As time goes on, you'll understand. What lasts, lasts; what doesn't, doesn't. Time solves most things. And what time can't solve, you have to solve yourself.

***

Wasn't it better if they kept this desire to see each other hidden within them, and never actually got together? That way, there would always be hope in their hearts. That hope would be a small, yet vital flame that warmed them to their core - a tiny flame to cup one's hands around and protect from the wind, a flame that the violent winds of reality might easily extinguish.

- 1Q84, Murakami.

A HIDDEN COFFEESHOP

I have to admit this publicly. I don't drink coffee, and I never have. *wondering people's expression if they read this confession. Yes, I'm the minority. 

But the fun fact is : I do REALLY love the alluring aroma of freshly brewed coffee, though I can't tolerate the taste, lmfao. I don't mind spending an hour or even more hours in a coffee shop, it's like I'm there paying for the relaxing space and aroma therapy, being away from any distractions (that's the reasons why I love studying alone in coffee shop!), which can result in very productive environment. In short, I just love the smell and the space, not the taste. OK just forget it, this is a prologue only.

***

I basically found almost every new thing in Instagram, and suddenly I found a stranger posted her photo in a minimalist, wooden, spiral staircase, on my explore page. She puts the coffee shop's name in her photo location, and the name is Nala Coffee, located in TB Simatupang Jaksel, inside an office building (well, this is what makes the shop being a bit hidden). Nala probably has something to do with the minimalist interior, white and wooden wall, and their iconic spiral staircase --- the perfect place yang super instagram-able! Lol.

Jakarta & Its Own Story

#nowplaying Banda Neira - Senja di Jakarta 

Being forced to live in this dynamic & busy city, due to an obligatory reason : this is where my campus is located in.

Jakarta; a typical bustling place that won’t let you feel lonely. Been living here for approximately 2 years, spending my half of college life and i’ve already had quite an indescribable feeling towards this city. 

* 2 years ago *

At the first week of moving here, i remember how i almost cried on the ground of leaving a place where i was raised in, Bogor. Pretty yuck drama? I guess so, remembering that the distance between these two cities is less than a few miles across. But yeah, i had my own reasons, at that time.

And as the time goes by, i slowly began to know some new things of this city profoundly. I found Jakarta to be a city that is nearly impossible for people to fall in love with at the first sight. Perhaps the reasons are stated simply as in itself : Jakarta’s traffic needs zero explanation. No wonder, this could be a major turn-off for all people. I remember how  i got stuck in the middle of the traffic for 2 hours even though the place is only a  few kms away, for God’s sake.. Jakarta’s sprawling cityscape, like the unruly roadways, has reminded me of a hurried game of Tetris, where everything is stacked up and torn down on anywhere-it-is.

But still, i ended up falling in love with the city. Am I insane? I have no idea. I just think that Jakarta… has its own story.  Despite of its quirks and horrible traffics, it doesn't take me a long time to love Jakarta, unconditionally.

****

-

Hi. It's been a while since I neglected this space. I've been busy with all the tasks that have been given in every single week and boo ya, I am now having my very first midterms in college. While it may seem hard to top the horror stories that spring up around Halloween, many medical students find their midterm exams to be as bone-chilling.. Yeah, the test methods were pretty different from highschool.  I must say, they were such a big deal for all the freshman of medical school. And there seems like a delicate aura of tension surrounding all college students when the proverbial midterm season comes around (lmfao!). Well technically, they are just tests, but there are multitude reasons why it’s different from anything I may have experienced in high school. Calm down, I don't really need to tell very much further about how hectic the midterm week is.

The Lava Tour

Since it erupted in 2010, Merapi has become a tourist object. Many people come to see the view after Merapi's eruption destroyed the village. But however, the village is now rising again. The villagers took the advantage of that condition to mend their life condition. By not giving up to the situation, they finally bounced back from the sorrow caused by the eruption. That's why I decided to take a look at the volcano tour. All the tourists were allowed to use four-wheeled drive vehicles and trail bikes to traverse the volcanic trails.

***

I headed from the hotel to Merapi by using a Jeep at 5.00. The day began with a frigid morning, with a little bit of wind chill (yes, this is a pretty yuck drama). Then we arrived at Merapi's slope. The sunrise was sharp at 5:15 am. And wow. The views were surreal as the weather stayed really clear. The colors of the sun, the landscapes and the views of the distant mountain kept me dumb struck for a long while.  The clouds also seemed to rise with it making the entire world above seem like a maze of clouds (yay! lol). And yes, I took some photographs.

A little while after, I started my journey to go around the village. I travelled around by renting a trail bike with my brother and visiting the emergency bunker. Have you ever remembered about the accident of Merapi's bunker? One more thing that interesting for the tourist is a bunker where two of safety guards of Merapi were died. At the beginning, the bunker, one of several dotting Merapi's slopes, was designed to provide temporary protection from hot clouds, not from sustained exposure to large amounts of burning volcanic debris. The 2 men were trying to enter the bunker when the hot clouds slide down from the mountain. It's a pity that the bunker was closed with dry lava and volcanic material, so their bodies were burnt inside. The men were helping evacuate a village when a burst of volcanic activity forced them to seek shelter in the bunker.

Then I took a visit to the graveyard of Mbah Maridjan, the caretaker of Merapi. Visiting the village and still be able to see some remains of the Merapi eruption. Countless houses and livestock were destroyed together with farms and forest. It was indeed a surreal and humbling experience standing on the soil blackened with fine black sand ejected from the bowels of the earth by the forceful volcano. There are also a burned car and a motorcycle that become a tourist attraction.