3:57 PM

I miss those moments.


A lot..

#

12:14 AM

I’m twenty years old. An age at which maturity starts to set in, they say.
but
I’ve been once told that my behaviors resembles just like a kid. 
In short, I just haven’t attained a matured personality. I realize that a mature person doesn’t only denote old age.

Perhaps I can be more aware of the interludes in which my whiny and adolescent self rears its immature head. I’m sure that there’s a lotta signs of maturity that I need to learn more.

One of them is self-control. Identifying urges that build up within my mind, resist the temptation to act on them, knowing in which time between I should be mad or remaining calm when someone does something I dislike. The principal ideas that I really need to learn more. And yet, it’s the most difficult thing to do.

The Girl She Was

4:22 PM

She doesn't feel like herself. Not anymore. She was different once.

Now she is like a watered down version, pale and thin. She slips through the cracks, unnoticed. She fades into the background, afraid of saying the wrong thing. She grows sharp edges and won't let anyone get close to her.

She doesn't know how she came to be like this, how she ended up here. She only remembers the way she used to be - wild and reckless. Bold and unapologetic.

- Lang Leav

Untitled

10:41 PM

The less i know the better.
*screaming inside*

Personal Life

From this moment on // dear I

12:54 AM

It's almost 1 am


***

Without knowing how, or when, or even from where.

I can't thank you enough for that,
for someone who always there for me
when my spirits need a little lift.

I've never known such fullness,
an ocean of feelings overflowing
into the emptiest part of me.

For an eternity I want to spend in your arms

No one else, love,
will sleep in my dreams.

No one else will travel,
through the shadows with me

only you, evergreen,
ever sun, ever moon.

***

to the man I love; 0307


Music

Jakarta International Java Jazz Festival 2017

10:00 AM

March's main highlight : went to Java Jazz Festival (JJF) 2017! This is one of my stuff bucket lists are made of and I could finally tick if off! I bought the ticket last year (in November 2016), at the first week when they sold the ticket on their website, when the lineups weren't even out and I got the 3 days-pass ticket for only 750k (the ticket's price after the lineups announcement is 1500k). Lucky me. 
This is the 4th time I went to Java Jazz Festival, after skipping it in 2016 *sigh*. The venue was as the same as the previous, at JIExpo Kemayoran, with a crowd capacity of more than a thousand people. For this year, they have 14 stages (consists of indoor and outdoor space) and the concept progresses from the previous years are quite impressive. A lot of the facilities and the crowd control have gotten better.

Here are the shows I watched (in no particular order) :

1. Mezzoforte. 
The songs they brought fitted well for the night and they did a wonderful job with their songs selection. You never knew what was coming next because these seasoned jazzheads had no hard and fast rule about what to play. It was indeed a great feeling of finally getting to see them LIVE after all this time I watched it only on Youtube lmao. 


2. Jazz Orchestra of the Concertgebouw feat. Dira Sugandi 
Dira Sugandi has wholly shown her mellifluous voice and successfully enthralled the crowd by reaching high notes in one of the song she brought. It combined beautifully with the orchestra's instruments. 



3. Andien Aisyah
I've been listening to Andien's soothing voice since I was in primary school, just because my sister kept playing her songs in her room. I didn't see a trace of tiredness on her at all, considering she just gave her all on that night. She brought her famous hits such as Gemintang, Milikmu Selalu, Sahabat Setia, and many more. In the middle of her performance, suddenly someone came out to the stage, he was TULUS! The best thing is that Tulus sang along with Andien, performing my all time-favorite song, "Gemintang" beautifully with his whole heart throughout the show. 





4. Gugun Blues Shelter 
GBS definitely pour out their music in the blues energy that will easily grab your taste in no time! The fun fact was, the audiences were mostly boys and meanwhile there are two little girls with hijab in the middle of the crowd, and that was me and Yaya.... Ya mau gimana lagi, I've been deeply in love with them since the first time I listened to their songs in high school, maka dari itulah gue nggak mau melewatkan kesempatan buat nonton mereka sampe puas secara live LMAOOO. This band knows how to combine many styles inside their heavy roaring blues style. Rock, blues, soul, all are incorporated into their music. They literally set the stage on 'fire' while singing Set My Soul on Fire, especially when Gugun did the solo part! 


5. Danilla Riyadi
I knew her from Java Jazz 2015 and Indielokal's Youtube Channel. Her first song that I listened to is "Ada Disana". The first time I heard her song, I swear to myself I'm gonna find her album. When you saw her on stage, you can see how she enjoys the song she sings, her glow, her honesty, and enjoy the stories behind her lyrics.


6. Incognito 
This British-acid jazz, soul, and funk band was like a magnet on that night, dragging almost all the audiences to watch their stage! The hall was so full with the crowd, and I've had the pleasure of seeing them live, especially in the front row. Best of the best. 



***

Actually there were more performances I've watched, but I didn't manage to take a single pic because I was too far away from the stage. That was incredibly fun to attend this must-come annual event, even when my feet were already aching from the continuous standing and walking. That's all. See you again in JJF 2018!

Book Quotes

Untitled #1

12:54 PM


Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back. That's part of what it means to be alive. But inside our heads - at least that's where I imagine it - there's a little room where we store those memories. A room like the stacks in this library. And to understand the workings of our own heart we have to keep on making new reference cards. We have to duct things off every once in a while, let in fresh air, change the water in the flower vases. In other words, you'll live forever in your own private library.

***

As time goes on, you'll understand. What lasts, lasts; what doesn't, doesn't. Time solves most things. And what time can't solve, you have to solve yourself.

***

Wasn't it better if they kept this desire to see each other hidden within them, and never actually got together? That way, there would always be hope in their hearts. That hope would be a small, yet vital flame that warmed them to their core - a tiny flame to cup one's hands around and protect from the wind, a flame that the violent winds of reality might easily extinguish.

- 1Q84, Murakami.

Personal Life

A hidden coffeeshop?

3:04 PM

I have to admit this publicly. I don't drink coffee, and I never have. *wondering people's expression if they read this confession. Yes, I'm the minority. 
But the fun fact is : I do REALLY love the alluring aroma of freshly brewed coffee, though I can't tolerate the taste, lmfao. I don't mind spending an hour or even more hours in a coffee shop, it's like I'm there paying for the relaxing space and aroma therapy, being away from any distractions (that's the reasons why I love studying alone in coffee shop!), which can result in very productive environment. In short, I just love the smell and the space, not the taste. OK just forget it, this is a prologue only.

***

I basically found almost every new thing in Instagram, and suddenly I found a stranger posted her photo in a minimalist, wooden, spiral staircase, on my explore page. She puts the coffee shop's name in her photo location, and the name is Nala Coffee, located in TB Simatupang Jaksel, inside an office building (well, this is what makes the shop being a bit hidden). Nala probably has something to do with the minimalist interior, white and wooden wall, and their iconic spiral staircase --- the perfect place yang super instagram-able! Lol.